Why Is Everyone Saying "Demure"?
The resurgence of the word "demure" across social media has become a defining trend in 2024, particularly on platforms like TikTok. This shift toward emphasizing modesty, reservation, and mindfulness seems to stand in stark contrast to the loud, bold, and expressive movements that have dominated the cultural landscape. So, why is everyone suddenly obsessed with being "demure"?
The Origin of the Demure Trend
The viral popularity of the term can be largely attributed to TikTok creator Jools Lebron, who started using "demure" in her videos in a satirical way. On August 2, 2024, Lebron posted a video about her daily routine, where she humorously explained how she does things in a "very demure, very mindful" manner, like calmly doing her makeup, laying her wig, and ordering food. The video quickly amassed millions of views, and the word “demure” became the buzzword of the summer.
Lebron's videos play on the concept of being overly reserved and mindful, making jokes about how she acts in situations like leaving a hotel or getting off a plane. Her soft-spoken, gentle approach to everyday tasks became the epitome of "demureness," and the trend has since been widely mimicked by other users.
What Does "Demure" Mean?
Traditionally, "demure" refers to someone who is modest, reserved, or shy. The term has been most often applied to women in historical contexts to describe quiet or ladylike behavior. In its classical sense, being "demure" was seen as a positive quality—graceful and dignified.
In the context of the current trend, however, the word is often used ironically. TikTok users joke about behaving in an over-the-top, gentle, and poised manner, turning everyday moments into opportunities to practice mindfulness, humorously exaggerating actions like eating salad instead of wings or quietly waiting in line. Lebron's phrase, "I’m very mindful. I’m very demure," has become the mantra of those embracing the trend.
Why Has "Demure" Become So Popular?
There are a few cultural undercurrents that may explain why "demure" is having its moment:
A Reaction to Bold Trends: In the wake of bold, unapologetic movements like “brat summer”—another viral trend inspired by Charli XCX's album of the same name—there seems to be a growing cultural desire to embrace something more subdued and mindful. The shift from loud to soft, from bratty to demure, represents a kind of rebellion against rebellion. TikTok users even joke about transitioning from "brat summer" to "demure fall".
Satirical Play on Social Norms: The demure trend is not just about being modest—it's about playing with the expectations of femininity, etiquette, and behavior. By exaggerating small acts of gentleness, users are poking fun at societal standards that praise women for being overly accommodating or graceful in public. This satire provides a clever, humorous commentary on how people are expected to behave, particularly women.
Mindfulness and Soft Living Movements: In a world increasingly focused on self-care, mental health, and mindfulness, the demure trend taps into the larger "soft living" movement. While initially humorous, many people resonate with the idea of being more intentional, slowing down, and not rushing through life. The emphasis on mindfulness—on doing things in a calm, cutesy, and controlled way—aligns with this broader cultural shift toward wellness and mental clarity.
The Future of "Demure"
As with many internet trends, it's unclear how long the demure craze will last. However, its influence has extended beyond TikTok, with the word popping up in fashion, media, and even real-life interactions. Some have suggested that demure will become the new standard for behavior, at least temporarily replacing louder, more rebellious trends. Brands and influencers have already picked up on the trend, creating content that plays with the concept of "demureness" in ways that feel both satirical and sincere.
Ultimately, the rise of "demure" reflects a moment of playful self-awareness in the digital age. It’s a trend that encourages people to laugh at themselves while also considering the value of mindfulness and restraint in a world that often feels chaotic. Whether you're in on the joke or sincerely adopting demureness as a way of life, there's no doubt that "very demure, very mindful" is shaping the cultural conversation—for now.